


killing time

by pachinkovv



Category: Puyo Puyo (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Romance, Denial, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Reunions, Surprise Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26900857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pachinkovv/pseuds/pachinkovv
Summary: In a perfect world, Klug can give Aya the liberty to live again in his own body.
Relationships: Klug/Ayashii
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. 10

**Author's Note:**

> i feel out of practice so i hope it doesn't show much in here.. anyway, enjoy me taking a hc from earlier and fleshing it out to no end

Klug doesn't know how but he convinced Ayashii to stay put under his desk and for close to a week has been dodging his questions as to why. If it was any other time, Klug wouldn't let the record far out of reach because like it or not, there's another living soul linked to that thing and it's the least he can do is to treat him like one. Ayashii doesn't even ask that much from him so it was really Klug pushing to talk more and leave the record by the window with the best view outside and lend books for him to read when he was gone, like now.

On his free period, Klug checked in the school's library, alone this time - as Aya was led to believe he just needed to be closer to a peace of mind to work again today - and came back holding some seven-eight books he would find Aya reading.

Klug fails to execute a normal-passing cough and Ayashii doesn't uncross his smoke arms yet.

It didn't take long before the reason was forced out of him.

"You need time alone? From what?"

"I just have a lot of studying to catch up on."

"Don't pretend like I'm stupid. I know what your grades look like, Klug."

"No- I know, this is just for something else, outside of that.."

He decides to not even allude to the surprise and eventually Aya gives up working it out of him.

Ayashii argues that he'll have nothing to do here. He leaves out that he's been meaning to help Klug with school work on late nights if it meant getting to leave with him. But "I really need this," he said. And then he gets a peak into the real face sitting behind his usual one, or Ayashii was just feeling sentimental today, but as much as he gripes he doesn't object to reading the stack he was offered.

Klug goes through an obligatory list with him after that, after Ayashii fails to argue his point, kind of slinks back over and into the flat of his desk with his arms behind his head and says, "Go then".

He promises not to be gone for more than he needs to. Not to keep him out of the loop for too long. Because when he comes back it's the first thing he's going to do is show him what he's been working on. Klug gets the last word, ending things off on 'see you' and 'sorry' when he was sure no one was close enough to pick up on that and off he went.

But by the time Klug was in abandon for 'study material', Aya realizes he can't turn the pages of any other book but the one he was sealed into. And had to spend the rest of the week finding a means to cope.

Halfway through the week was when Klug's body had fully adjusted. To black-enclosed rooms, dry, overworked eyes, overworked body. He grew to seeing things in permutations - of how to practice executing these lines and what books to read on those spells and just how much he needed to get a hold on to not mess this up. He saw to Arca ruins like a second home. The school's two libraries (its surface level one and the basement library prohibiting student entry) he could walk backwards and forwards the shelves' titles like nothing. 

In the case that forbidden relics aren't involved - which is good for him, so as not to possibly attract Lemres's attention - Klug was on the lookout for forbidden texts.

And finally he read its name again, of the spell he was looking for for so damn long (in Klug's eyes, half a year to find a spell forbidden practicing on public grounds is too long). Because at first he heard it in passing. From what he can assume were dark magic users or just very like-minded people.

It wasn't that dark magic as a whole is forbidden to be taught in Primp schools but out of any category it takes the hardest blows acceptance-wise with a lot of practices of dark magic being flat out unspoken of even outside of his town.

So, this is what he's telling himself as he's eavesdropping on them. So that even if he may never get the chance to excuse himself to others, he can at least to himself, to wane the guilt.

But this spell, Salah..Salir Ega.. Klug still needs to reference the books for that one but the point being that it's exactly what he was looking for. After enough text examples and analyses Klug got to know just how dangerous it was even if performed ideally but it's the closest he's getting to give Ayashii a chance to start over. He's sure he knows what he's walking into this time.

And so as it turns out, he doesn't need relics, and to memorize a set of lines and then some wasn't an issue. Every other spell Klug tried either needed much bigger magic reserves or was in a language too old and too hard for him to translate into something closer to his times. But this time around, he thinks he can handle it. And never mind the fact that it was seriously going to pay off in the end.

By the end of the week, it was a Saturday, Klug looks beaten down on all levels but physical. And almost with his eyes closed traces back to Primp Magic School for his record.

He wasn't supposed to be able to push the school's front doors open to begin with but as a few classmates told him, there was a big club meeting in session. Klug asks and forgets anyway what the club was that they were running. And the students wouldn't believe you if you said he was tired, they thought he was dead.

He quickly nods them off and takes to his home room - the best way he can think of cutting the exchange in his brutalized half-awake mind.

Klug greets Aya when the door clicks behind him and when he sees no one else in their vicinity.

He should've expected this but immediately Klug's health is taken into question. Ayashii asking where did his life go and why he's wearing the sleep so much on his face until he realizes it's probably from the lack of it.

Klug laughs it off, too much in a good mood but without the energy for show of it.

He takes Aya back home as he's being littered with questions. Klug being too damn tired to answer any of them or take them seriously. It was only when they passed the steps to his place and Klug sat the record down with him on the floor to slip out of his shoes that he really considered answering.

But apparently, it's not the first thing he's going to do is show him the result of his hard work because it was right then and there that the sleep catches up to him.


	2. 9

When they promised each other so many years ago, even being as young as Klug was he knew the pretense in Ayashii's voice when he heard it. Even now, when he brings it up in conversation with him it drains all the talk out of him until Ayashii doesn't even bother popping out of the record anymore to face him. But he has every right to. Klug gets that. And he hated it for the longest time, admitting that maybe he could've been right.

But Klug wants to see him in person, and way more than he lets on even to himself because Klug will give up weeks of sleep if it means finding a cure to the Record's curse. He just knows he won't be able to live with himself if he doesn't die trying.

Because the way he puts it - Ayashii is the closest friend he's ever had the luck of meeting. For a good part of his life, it was just a disembodied voice, and sometimes the cute, proppy soul to go with it when they talked. At first, Klug didn't know how to handle the fact that his first ever friend - meaning first ever person who can read him perfectly in little to no time - was unfortunate enough to be missing a body because whenever they talked it didn't matter what classes he were to transfer to next people always made fun of him for talking to a book. He adapted overtime not to overdo it in public, even when everyone in Primp has been considerably nicer to him than his prior classmates.

Klug thought for the longest time that it shouldn't matter if Ayashii got a body of his own or not. What was he really missing out on that he couldn't get from anyone else? It wasn't ideal, the fact that he can't see or touch him, but that wasn't necessary. His voice was always enough. Or, until Klug fails to dismiss that feeling more and more. When they're alone some nights and he doesn't expect it - granted Aya doesn't expect it either - he starts with 'I remember' and 20 minutes down the line is spilling his expository guts about the moment he was first sealed and had to watch his body rot in front of him for years before anyone picked the record up and away with them. And Klug also fails to tell him in that moment how much he wants to hold him tight against him in a hug and let him shake crying until he has no tears left to cry with. And it wasn't even just then, when he had the serious urge to - what? Touch him? There has to be a better way of putting it Klug is sure but it couldn't be more closer to the truth. And the more he gives it attention the harder he's going to long for it.

And still, Klug guarantees that even if by God this spell works in his favor somehow he would never tell Ayashii how much he enjoys these small moments with him. Again, if they were to ever happen.

Ayashii eased out of panic hours ago. And it was the sudden reminder that cut into his dreamless sleep that woke Klug in a start.

Giving Aya no room to interfere, he hooks the record under one arm and retreats to the basement.

It was only after he couldn't make the connection with any other magic circle he's seen before that Ayashii presses for answers. All Klug can say is "I've been busy."

Aya doubles down, knowing full well there's nothing he can really do to hold him back physically. He hits the mark in warning him this could be dangerous, idiot. He doubts he can even perform the spell to completion if it's a circle even a demon can't stick a label to. All Klug can do is close the record's front and back covers (which if he wasn't so nerve-wracked Klug would have bothered laughing - are manipulated to act as mouth flaps given enough magic builds into them/ if Aya is angry enough).

Klug slides the book forward on the heel of one hand to where he wants it to be. It's rare, but he leads a promise on softer tones, softer eyes to him when Ayashii is so used to it taking more than that to pull his borders down.

When he finally catches on, Klug can see his eye lights burning softer themselves. His voice doesn't carry when he says, "I thought we were done - with this."

Aya means to point with his head and doesn't seem to notice his tail going with, aiming in the direction of the circle they're sitting over.

Klug feels like this is no time to argue and still he can't help himself.

"I know, I know it looks stupid to you but I got it down finally - something to bring you back, Aya."

"Klug, do you hear yourself? You don't even hear yourself. What do you think centuries of people trying and failing to break the curse tells you?"

"Okay, but this is different! You just said you don't recognize the diagram I'm using so-"

"Then tell me which one it is, so I can gauge how big of a mistake you're about to make before you make it!"

Klug holds off on swallowing the knot in his throat.

"I- can't tell you that," he said.

"Listen, why don't you let me try this please. Just give it a chance, Aya. I know how much you want this even if you gave it up a long time ago. Just let me try."

Ayashii finally goes quiet, his smoky pinpricks and mouth assuming something Klug has trouble reading. But wants to see it as an okay to keep going.

His magic concentrated over himself like a separate aura, forking over his hands and down to the floor to trace the lines of his circle. Klug's mouth moves ahead of him before he can start to tell the words apart, his muscle memory finishing the phrases for him.

Aya may not be familiar with the spell he's doing but he can tell it's physically straining and not without good reason. Seeing how magic circles take more experienced users to execute properly. And it looks like the longer Klug goes on chanting the phrases the brighter and hotter the room gets. Until Klug's hands press into the circle in one harsh swing at its most unbearable point and the room is blinded in white.

"—Salariu egal!"

It was someone's hand on the Record that steals Aya's attention first. But it wasn't Klug's because he could see his pair of hands still pinned to the floor and this hand was darker in tone. A finger of that hand twitched. Ayashii's hand twitched.

As soon as a noise leaves him Aya's face scrunches into something closer to a grimace than a smile. Both hands keep coming up to smear the wet of his tears over his cheeks only for Ayashii to cry harder into Klug's back when he feels for him in the blurred space ahead of him. Klug is too weak to support him with how hard he's starting to cry too and falls under him.

Aya's trying to make out his name and so far has cried every iteration closest to it into his neck and chest, gripping loose-fitting-enough fabric like a vice around those fingers. And it's almost too much. Klug doesn't know if he can speak for the both of them but every puffy exhale, every unfinished word, every hiccup he can feel it on him. And his tears are still hot when they're rolling down the side of Klug's neck. It's so real it's almost enough to still him in fear.

He feels Ayashii's lips phrase 'Thank you' somewhere on bare skin, over and over.

Klug's own lips feel too dry to smile. And his tongue too dry to wet them if he tried.

"I promised," he said.

Ayashii wants to drag himself a little higher for something neither of them get to see carried out after Klug bites on a groan and checks the space lower and between them.

It's not long before Aya hears him bump against the railing and keep running up the stairs.

By the time Klug is back, neither of them mention how Ayashii's body comes without clothes.


	3. 8

That and a pair of glasses the ritual fails to provide - it taking a good minute for Klug to realize since calming down - but he can't find it in himself to complain. Because nevermind Ayashii is here in body and spirit this time, the ritual didn't turn him up with any abnormalities (a few being amnesia, missing limbs, new/weakened magic potential, or at the expense of the spellcasters' themselves). Or at least he can hope not. Klug wanted to check but the more detail he gave to how and where it merits 'checking' eventually, Klug shuts the idea down. Regardless of how worried sick he is about things turning out alright post-ritual, and without the words to put it behind if he ever decided to tell him. Klug can only say his off-point staring and glancing served well for once in that Ayashii looks... good to him. Klug failing to elaborate why even to himself. But he looks just the way he remembers seeing him last time - the boxes checking eventually for him. No new appendages, nothing missing, no memory loss. In that regard too Aya is looking good.

So for now, his extra pair will suffice but he promises they go glasses shopping later. Preferably as soon as tomorrow morning, And the way he finds out is only after handing his spare clothes over that Klug noticed Ayashii misreading the distance between his hand and Klug's.

When they're both finally out of the basement, as much as he wants to, Klug knows he isn't going to bed anytime soon, let alone convince Ayashii to. With him riding on the excitement of escaping that fucking Record once and for the rest of time and Klug- Klug not sure as to why he gets really happy when they embraced and cried pathetically over each other like that and having a hard time suppressing the need to recreate that again. And generally still not getting over the fact that that spell worked.

And even if they did go to bed that would be the extent of it. Both knowing they can't fall asleep if they tried. Just rolling from wall to door, straightening the sheets and messing them up again. There were too many nights where Klug had to go through that but now he thinks would be the worst case of it.

So without ever saying it aloud, they both acknowledge staying up is the best they can hope to do for now.

Besides that, Ayashii wouldn't let him go before dragging him outside, insisting he needs the time to 'take everything in', or as best as he could put it in words. Klug insists back he didn't need to tell him anything because he feels it too - and can only imagine what it's like for Aya after so long - when they find a good spot of grass under an open enough sky to stargaze. When a breeze occasionally picks up and smells sweeter breathing in.

Klug looks over and sees Ayashii had already taken his glasses off. Letting them hang on the fingers of one hand to better zone out. He never sees him like this and then again it's not like Klug sees much of anything different from Ayashii outside of the few faces he can pull with two dots for eyes and a curve to smile with as a spirit.

He's trying and failing to distract himself so easily. Klug is drinking in that look right now and still can't relax into it. He's definitely overthinking this - everything. Like it's all he can think about doing is hugging that tightly again and roughing up his hair even more and it gets him thinking about any fucking possible excuse to try that again with him.

When it's clear how this much focus arrested on him like this is just not okay. And he either needs to do something to kill the feeling or figure it out some more...

Klug is feeling the top of his foot with the other one.

The weather is too warm for being in the middle of September. As it looks like summer is still holding on into the first month of a supposed 'autumn' month. But that's Primp for you.

And Klug had just come to accept Ayashii is fully tuned out until he feels like saying, "I don't get you."

"Sorry?"

Aya keeps going without turning to face him.

"Every past owner of that record never put as much blind faith into me as much as you. I'm used to thinking of myself as just a weight they were stuck with dragging around before finding something better to replace me with. But you treat me like any other classmate or friend of yours. And even then I don't understand why, ah..."

"Why go through with the effort," he says, like "why put this much work into it just to give his dumbass another chance at living again"? He finds his point eventually but it's clear to them both that that took his composure breaking. Ayashii is looking further and down somewhere from the sky, like he really could just sink into the dirt and forget about hiding the hiccups in his voice.

Klug wants to say 'because I love you' against all forethought. But even if he meant it as a friend he can't bring himself to say it. It feels too strong to handle even on his own tongue. He hates how embarrassed he's getting turning it over in his head.

"Why give me a body?" Aya says.

"Well, same reason why I kept the record. I- I don't know - I guess it goes further than enjoying your company. You helped me overcome shitty day after day, in school, out of school... And what you told me about how you got stuck like that in the first place. It was over jack like, what- I'm sorry, your eyes aren't the same color as us humans' and you're physically and magically stronger so a bigger threat to people. You know, never mind the fact that you and a lot of other demons don't even care to touch humans but yeah let's just box you in, in both senses. And treat you like the monster you- you know? So I'm.."

Klug realizes how much his hands are being put to work as much as his mouth. He makes a cage with them over his chest when he doesn't know where else to put them.

"So out of plain respect for you I did it. I wanted to do you justice. And anyway, even if you were a monster I'd still be the bigger idiot to unseal you again."

In afterthought, Klug thinks this to himself, it's "because you're too good a friend to let go". Or keep sealed. And just never get to see in person unless they're swapping souls in the same body but that doesn't count.

Ayashii says it for him when he's pulling him into a hug. Their first one being so desperate apparently that he doesn't think much of it when he's shaking and crying a lot less now into his shoulder.

He says "I love you" not thinking too much about it either.

Klug wanted to say it himself. But it's just the one noise he can pull off - that 'mhm' - when it comes off sounding so high-strung and pathetic, giving Klug every reason to want to jump off a cliff because he really couldn't say anything better could he?

And of course, he has to ask eventually. Ayashii finds his voice again and is still holding on to him. He wanted to know, "How did you do it?"

Klug didn't think this would slide but Ayashii took his word for it when he said it just took a lot of studying ancient texts and piecing them together.

Aya laughs and his cheek slides more off Klug's shoulder.

"I have to owe you now. I owe you my life for this, Klug, you know that?"

"Don't say that," he stressed.

And before Klug catches himself saying, "It's nothing" Aya is already parroting it back to him in jest. They quickly break into a laughing fit they were long since missing out on.

But eventually they do peel off of each other. As Ayashii tends to cracking his knuckles to his spine he admits that that spell must have been as hard as he thought because Klug isn't looking so good.

Strangely enough, Klug doesn't think to object.

"How can you tell?"

"You look half awake and you just had a nap not long ago."

That can't be the only reason why, but Klug isn't lying when he says to blame it on him for shedding his magic reserves so fast and so much. So of course from a spell like that he's at least going to be walking away with body sores and headaches for tonight.

Which furthers his point when he remembers to say "we should go inside". But maybe it's from still not coming down from that high yet - even when he can feel his body starting to drag. Or he regardless doesn't want to part with Aya when they go to their separate beds for the night, but he's willing to keep the conversation going again. And against all forethought, falls asleep with him outside.


	4. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one day i will write Raffina better. i swear

Klug wakes up to find Ayashii missing.

His back still hurts like a bitch and his head still feels stuffy just not from yesterday's headache as he's happy to note.

And it doesn't take very long to find him again. Aya apparently having snuck into his bed where he walks in on him cocooned in blankets refusing to budge until Klug is forced his hand to roll him back out onto the floor. He omits telling him he almost cried thinking the ritual backfired, that he was gone for good. Like object permenance hasn't yet set in for him. Instead drawing attention on the fact that they both smell like grass and need to shower so what are you doing sleeping on my clean sheets? 

But then once he gets him into the shower it takes forever to get him out of there too because Ayashii keeps getting distracted by every measly thing he realizes that comes with a body. When letting the water hit and break on alternating shoulders isn't enough he fills the whole bath to sit in a pool of it.

Aya ends up using half the bottle of his favorite brand-name shampoo, and left the shower curtain a quarter of the way open for water to drizzle out weakly over the wall. But Klug doesn't seem to notice. 

An abrupt coughing fit getting his attention before he can tell and even by that point he doesn't care mention it.

You'd think he would know better, not to drown in the body he just got less than a day ago. This is what he's telling him as he leans forward on his knees to slap Aya's back. Ayashii wants to laugh, or get an excuse out, but for now can only keep coughing.

Klug asks, "Do I need to sit by you in there?" And when Aya does have it in him to answer and he can't pull anything smart out of his ass he resorts to shaking for no and smiling into his fist.

Later, they sat over tea. Klug never being big into three-meals-a-day and Aya letting it grow on him eventually so they circle the kitchen for a bite before sitting back down to talk. They don't know what about yet. Klug at first chides him for being so reckless and at the same time can't say he would be any different if he was in his shoes. It's just what he does on autopilot. When he means to say he cares it takes stressing and chiding him for minutes before those words can even come out. And they both kind of already knew it at heart because Aya can't take him seriously seeing his ears flush more and Klug getting quieter and quieter.

"Don't worry. I'm going to be more careful, okay?"

Klug thinks to grab his mug first to cover his face than to drink from it. He can't look away far enough to avoid that dumb cheeky smile. And his glasses just getting caught in the light so he can't see behind them.

And it wasn't until then that he remembered they had some shopping to do.

Ayashii admits he forgot. Even with Klug's prescription being off enough to notice.

"Why don't we go now then? After we're done."

Aya says it less as a matter of question than he did a suggestion.

"About that.. How do I explain you showing up out of the blue to my classmates? Because their only impression of you is - not the best."

And especially if they walked into Sig it would only make things harder to explain. Already Klug doesn't know how to excuse Aya as better than what his classmates know him for - thanks to the ruins incident.

Then Ayashii makes the point that really, if he knew there was any other way to regain his own body he wouldn't have clung to Sig so much or let the fantasy get to his head enough to possess him against his wishes. And so look where we are now.

Klug's smile draws too soon and too tightly.

"So, it's fine. I think we're going to run into your friends eventually but when we do, it shouldn't be too hard to gain their trust again."

"I guess you're right."

It's out of his budget but he still wants to buy the gold-framed ones for him.

Aya says he doesn't mind. That he can always work up to buying them in his own time (- unless?). And Klug has to bite on a laugh nudging him off his arm because of course you'd say that, idiot.

But he really does want to, if only his pockets would allow it. But for now it's all they can do is wander the store looking for something that fits second-best.

They spent some time like that. Just walking between the same aisles and passing the same corner mirrors with a gradually worsening sense for time. And it wasn't like either of them were that big into shopping either. The place just does something to you when you stick around for long enough. And have to listen to the same station crackling on speakers overhead and trace the lines of floor tiles, read the price, the front, back and sides of eyeglass cleaning kit boxes.

Eventually though, it's Klug who picks up on something, hearing someone familiar before he gets to see them. And promises to be right back before stepping out.

Raffina is just outside the eyewear store, looking to be in no rush deciding where to shop next from here, with Sig trailing behind her. Almost all bags weighing on the one demon arm.

They go through the usual exchange. Sig admits he likes shopping with Raffina since getting dragged into it.

Klug gets the idea - and so sue him if this doesn't work - to ask for some twenty dollars to spare. Which of course piques Raffina to know why, regardless of if she was planning to give it to him or not.

"I just need it for someone."

Raffina stares over Klug's shoulder.

"You don't need to lie, Klug. Who else wears glasses besides you?"

"No, I'm serious! It's for someone else!"

"Who?"

Klug feels his grave getting dug deeper when he gives her the time to consider.

"Is it for your crush? You didn't tell me you were crushing, Klug-"

"Friend," he's quick to correct. Klug feels torn between standing still and acting a barricade for the front doors the closer they inch toward them.

"Listen, this teasing is going nowhere. Are you going to help me or not?"

Raffina pretends not to hear. Because the idea of Klug hopelessly crushing on some girl from another class is him serving himself on a silver platter for Raffina to tease until the end of time.

"It's gotta be someone from another home room if she wears glasses like you. Want to cut to the chase and tell us who she is?"

By now they are both blatantly aware how close the eyewear store is and getting closer still. Sig only following behind because he wouldn't know what to do with her share of the clothes she bought if he were to leave them arguing.

And Ayashii was still busy weighing his options. Circling the question of which to buy after like an hour still and yet couldn't be damned to notice the last ten minutes go by as he shifts focus more onto the trio outside. Klug told him he's okay. He knows how to handle it when they were going to catch on soon enough. And yet is melting in a puddle of his own sweat doing anything he can to turn his classmates away from the door.

Which of course is only going to pique their curiosity all the higher. If now was the right time, and if Klug could see him, Aya wanted to mouth, "Nice going."

Raffina and Sig push past Klug despite his efforts, starting to train their eyes (it was more just Raffina) until they both catch his eye and Klug, handling the frame of one door like he would fall otherwise. The flush drained from his face.


	5. 6

As expected, no one budges for a good few seconds. Like they're going back on themselves, thinking maybe this is the wrong guy and that this couldn't really be him in flesh and blood, standing across from them in an eyewear store. His soul separately housed in a body of his own for once and Klug's just a few feet away because, "How?"

"Raffina-"

"No, how? What's he doing here? That's him right?"

Klug forgets he's wearing no sleeves to pull the cuff of into his fingers.

"You're not playing a sick joke on us, are you?"

"It's not anything like that, no - just - let me explain myself."

Ayashii wanted to wave to break the ice if he didn't remember the serious impression he left on them just over a year ago.

"Can we take this outside, please?" Klug urges, realizing he can't hope to cover for their asses while at the same time not attracting too much attention from everyone else in the store.

"Wait for me outside, okay? Trust me."

And it wasn't like they had any other choice but to trust him because Raffina had to know and even Sig needed to get some things straight.

Before they'd even walked out of earshot, Klug is rushing Aya over one more circle of the store so he finds his goddamn glasses and they can leave the beady, still half-tuned-to-them crowd.

But the tension of the room Klug still fails to swallow past even when they're outside again.

Raffina is first to speak up, rehashing some of her questions.

"He did need to possess you though - to come out physically? Am I getting this right?"

Suddenly she forget all about what she was teasing him over in the first place. Sig is letting the shopping bags almost touch the floor where she can't see it. Fixed on a point on Aya's face somewhere.

"Right, but he's here because of.."

Klug covers. At the least knowing it should buy him time.

"Well, actually, I don't think I should go into detail. Knowing you two, it would take some effort putting the ritual into a way you can understand."

"So it was a spell that brought him back?"

"Uh-"

Aya doesn't hear Sig speak up at first and is already supplying an answer until he can hear them cut each other off.

Sig says, "Klug, don't tell me you brought him back to do that thing he wanted last year. We're not doing this again, are we?"

Then Aya and Klug are talking over each to assure him that that is absolutely not the case, no.

Raffina's teeth grind against each other for lack of a nail to go between them.

"Quiet," she pipes up.

"Can you guys be a little more civil - please? Just talk one at a time or my head is gonna burst."

So as everyone's rush of energy comes to a fault, they make sure to start again on the right foot. Raffina and Sig slow to work a point out of them and getting the general idea that these two were closer than they thought. Nevermind they had their suspicions, Ayashii looked nothing like himself from a year ago. He's missing the cloak, the uniform. And it isn't helping that he was wearing the same shock with sunglasses on at the time. And Ayashii had made it clear how he couldn't be farther from a power craze now so it would be in everyone's best interest to leave that as the least of their worries (- Aya making sure to apologize to Sig directly, even if he thinks saying it this once won't make up for everything he almost let go to shit).

So things end on a good enough note here.

Raffina says they've another few hours left in the day to spend shopping, and can't afford to waste them anyway so as soon as they are gone Klug and Ayashii have this corner of the plaza to themselves.

Klug doesn't yet walk them back home from the plaza. Rather following the set path to its center fountain without thinking. Both open to conversation and at the same time neither minding to indulge in the silence as they walked. 

Ayashii doesn't remember when but he brings up going to Primp Magic School with him and it's unlike Klug not to jump on that immediately. His argument being something like "why bother if you're already well versed in magic by default" and looking to have completely missed the damn point. Neither of them bother to push for more discussion. And they busy themselves instead by what the rest of the plaza has to offer, the sun blotting its sky a brighter red the closer it hangs over the horizon.

And Klug can't help but think he's letting himself down again. At first by forgetting he was supposed to go straight home and now by giving into his and Aya's greed with what he knows by the end of the day is going to leave a sizable dent in his wallet.


	6. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wtf kind of tech does primp have? m still thinking about it

Klug thought he could have this time to himself, on a Monday morning, to consider why everything post-ritual is throwing him in for such a loop.

It's easy to get overconfident. But even if he did have someone to brag to he would still be swimming in doubt. And there was so much doubt behind the spell working that there was never a time Klug found himself thinking past what would happen after it actually worked. The only thing pushing him to do it is the fact that if he doesn't try his chances of seeing Aya face-to-face go from .1% to 0.

And now that he did, he has just what he's been asking for, has reached that distant star, Klug is dreading to face something he thinks shouldn't be possible in this lifetime. He's scared to go beyond that point but he isn't stupid. His days are numbered and it wouldn't help his case brooding over it for long.

Klug needs to find an answer soon.

So that even if he doesn't get to the why he still is going to get a better feel for where to pour his heart into. And if that in itself isn't going to turn out horribly wrong.

It's lunchtime and Klug still doesn't know what to call it. He doesn't want to.

And to make things worse, his classmates won't stop railing him with questions when they get the chance to see him. Because of course this had to spread knowing Raffina (granted, anyone would spread it eventually).

They ask why the demon is is unsealed differently this time and where is he now? Is he dangerous? Does he still want to take Sig away from us? Is he going to break in through the window and cancel our test for today with Ms. Accord?

To which he answers with a hand in his own face and meeting the first corner he can turn behind.

Klug fumbles with an excuse he's still working on by the last bell. He has nothing to give them and couldn't care less to - on top of explaining it to himself - explain a struggle apart from everyone else's. Esoteric to a point where Klug isn't sure if there's anyone he can turn to to help with confronting it.

Except Ayashii.

Klug works quickly to pack his things at the sound of the bell. Desperate to work his hands with something before his head gets the chance to anymore.

He doesn't have his answer yet.

Klug comes home to the waving static of the T.V through the walls, even before he walks in. Ayashii's breath occasionally coming over the channels when he laughs hard enough.

He's sitting upside down, legs hanging over the backrest. A short, cushioned stool propping his head from angling too much for comfort towards the floor. And a wrapper of something Klug doesn't remember giving him permission to try.

The T.V.'s playing a live concert show but it's quiet enough to pass as a kind of static too and his eyes are on the book in front of him.

Ayashii makes a noise of greeting with the chocolate in his mouth.

He says the obligatory, "Idiot, you're going to choke", meaning it to come off lighter until his own laugh does the line justice. And Klug is quick to join him at the foot of the couch after he finds a good spot on the floor to slide his bag over.

He expected so but the book he was reading looked easy to digest. Klug doesn't plan on making a comment anytime soon. Just fine with shutting up and reading as they're so used to doing together. The only difference being that now he can actually feel the warmth of his physical body and touch right next to him.

Klug tries not to think too hard about it.

He's not even reading the book right side up with him and doesn't care to complain. Then Klug remembers to look over the couch and can read the wrapper more clearly. The inside with nothing but the foil turned out. And again Klug has to remind himself of the small piece already sitting in Ayashii's mouth. The half of it that's obscured probably fully melted.

"Is that the last piece?"

Klug unmistakably assumes the worst from silence.

"Don't you dare."

Ayashii laughs as much as he can without his mouth breaking a line, and makes a face that translates into "and what are you going to do about it?"

Klug hates it but he lets his composure break. Going on about how it's Lemres who gave him that chocolate when it was marked down and would otherwise be too damn expensive even for him to invest in boxes of. And that I barely got to try it so don't you make another move.

Neither of them move in the first breath. 

Klug desperately wants to read his mind but can at least tell the cogs are turning. The chocolate put still between his teeth.

But Ayashii has made up his mind already before Klug thought of what else to say. Choosing to fuck himself over and pull the piece back into his mouth.

And Klug doesn't mean to retaliate like this. He just can't think straight being so close to that cocky smirk. He can't fucking stand it when Ayashii smiles like that at him knowing full well what it does to him. And how long Klug has to deal with it afterwards. The knot in his stomach. The blood going to his face. Not knowing if he should suppress or commit that smile, along with everything else, to memory if he wants to see it again.

So Klug doesn't think twice when he leans in to steal some of it out of his mouth.


	7. 4

Ayashii doesn't register the kiss until Klug already knocks over the stool and takes his head in his hands, using the chance when he gets it to slip his tongue in Aya's mouth. He can't say he even accepts it now - that this isn't just another wet dream he could be having because Klug doesn't want the chocolate that bad, right? Like what is he going to do? Kiss it out of him?

Klug's name doesn't leave Ayashii's throat all the way, starting as a low noise he gives up sighing into his mouth.

No, Aya decides, this can't be a dream. But that's not going to stop it from feeling like one.

Klug is pressing softer into the kiss than he initially did, lapping Aya's tongue more intently now but his arms are shaking from where he can see. Klug tries to close his eyes and keeps opening them like he's about to phase out of a dream himself. He can't decide what to do with his hands as soon as Aya meets them with his own. He doesn't hold him back. In fact Ayashii doesn't know about him but he's scared this could stop at any moment and they'd have to put in the effort to supply thought for action. Not the other way around as it should be. Not in this case.

Ayashii is reminded of his pulse when he notices it somewhere other than in his chest. It's his head that's pounding like a heart. And his body, if he didn't think it could come alive before, is flushing darker red as Ayashii can actually feel a line of sweat rolling down his arm. And his pants getting unbearably tighter by the second.

They're dragging their breathes harder against each other the longer they go on. Chasing the chocolate around on their tongues until it's reduced to pooling with the rest of their spit.

And he thinks he's starting to cry. It's like Ayashii didn't know much he wanted this level of intimacy with Klug until he's fucking crying in the middle of a kiss over it. He just never thought he could have it. Aya was ready to go to his grave with the pain of missing out on human touch and the physical space ever again. So much time has passed that it didn't even matter what for. By x centuries it grew on him as simple fact.

But it was just a week ago that this frame of thought could apply. And even less than that before his whole world finally chewed on his wishes and spat them back out to him. Ayashii never particularly believed in a God he thinks up until now. Because he's not sure how the fuck this is allowed in his book.

To be breathing in Klug's smell, leaning into his touch, get to feel the sun in the morning, and the cooler push of breeze by night. He regrets not having to break the Record's curse sooner but that matters so little in the grand scheme of things.

Aya's hands are moving somewhere else now. Less by a conscious drive to and more because if Ayashii sits still for another second he thinks he's going to burst.

He threads out of Klug's fingers, sliding the cap off to fill the curve of one hand with the back of his head, then cupping his neck. And moving down from there to find his dress shirt's collar.

Ayashii bunches it loosely in his fist, not having made up his mind if he should push Klug away for more or pull him in to keep going. And on a kiss that's long spent but by this point Ayashii doesn't mind if they drag it out till tomorrow. He's indulging for too long anyway to want to go back.

But they do. Eventually they have to. Ayashii intent on changing positions and Klug looking like he needs to get something off his chest, more clearly this time.

But Ayashii forgets about the drool he's swallowing as he pushes off the couch's edge. Until he already swallows it wrong and is turning into the couch's back to let himself cough. Putting them both out of it as abruptly as it had started.

Klug's eyes shot open. His hands suspended in the air at the height of his panic until he thinks to use them on Ayashii when he beats his back (again).

Whatever he wanted to say Klug's voice is thinning out too fast to let this count here. He's drawing the distance out step by step between them. So it isn't long until Klug backs himself into the stairway and is muttering an apology over and over. Until a door shuts behind him upstairs.

The milky taste still hangs in his mouth long after Klug's gone.


	8. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanted to make my writing sound more.. frantic ? here? like to fit a panic attack in words. 
> 
> or that could just be my excuse for dragging through writer's block. idk man i haven't slept in 30+ hours let's fucking go

Klug is getting tired of the cold sweats now that he can see them staining his papers. 

Having ignored it for the better half of the school day until he just couldn’t take dealing with it so desperately and wiping it off his pant leg like it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing. It’s like he’s tensing up and caving in to the same tension so many times an hour, over and over again. Hoping things aren’t as bad as he makes them out to be until he’s close to coming to terms with the fact that, yes, that did really happen and things have totally gone to shit thanks to him. Or at least can’t be looked at the same way. And the fight is so pin-pointed and loud on himself that he can’t be bothered to worry about anyone else who happens to notice Klug isn’t raising his hand, and is hiding them under his desk more than usual today. 

But it’s not even what he did that Klug is so worried about, it's how he’s going to look him in the eyes ever again without a strain of guilt anywhere in there, on his own eyes and face. To the point where he doesn’t immediately reject the idea to avoid walking home for as long as possible. Klug thinks this may even be enough of a guilt trip that it necessities he stays over Sig’s place for a day. If only for a day. Without a reason as to why being worked out of him, which Sig is very good at if their history has anything to say about it. 

But he hopes to God Ayashii can read him right away and just pretend with Klug that like this never happened because why bother unearthing feelings backed by this many years if it’s going to change so much so why not never talk about it okay and I’m sorry I’m so sorry for.. 

Klug flips to a new page. 

He stalls for long into today’s lecture, stuck for the first time in a long time, between choosing to listen to these lectures and himself. And for a while has just been kind of tuning out of both and back in and so that’s been his round of classes so far. 

And there’s more to it than that obviously but Klug just wants to go back to a few nights ago, before the ritual. To even a year ago before he got any smart ideas to begin with. Because Klug is honest the weight of his guilty conscience is enough to crush him flat (with as much thought as he’s pouring into it..)

Again, he isn’t focused on class. Klug can’t hang onto one sentence that comes out of the teacher’s mouth if he tried, which is off-putting in itself. Like Klug can’t even say it’s him who’s doing the nodding-off and pencil-waving. It’s more like he’s just watching through the eyes of some other kid with his name and clothes that can’t get a grip on themselves today. 

But he can’t stay focused on much of anything right now - except the apology he’s been writing out to Aya over the span of four hours. 

And it’s still going. 

What was it, he has to ask. If he had the chance to, what should he have said to him before the moment died in front of them? Because nevermind Klug’s mouth was open at the time he doubts he would’ve heard the words coming out of it. 

It’s love, right?

But if he loved him then he wouldn’t have gone that far for literal crumbs. If he really loved him he wouldn’t have gone through with… 

And still he can’t stop himself from thinking about the way Ayashii’s hands didn’t push him off when they folded in his, and felt for the back of his neck to push deeper into the kiss and hearing his name stressed like that, Klug can’t deny he was walking out with the knowledge of how starved he was of something like that. Before he even knew what it was. 

And he can’t stop himself from thinking how much further they would’ve gone if it weren’t for Aya’s untimely coughing and the awful choice of position to start with. 

Klug wants to stay hopeful but he thinks it’s more a matter of how to live this down than to pick up where they left off. And at the same time, how does someone brush years of raw, uncommunicated, bursting-at-the-seams feelings under the rug? 

Should he even bother then? Telling him how he feels if he can’t so much as get one line down on the page about it? 

Because he just keeps starting and stopping and turning the page before Klug can think to finish xing it off. Half the time being more stuck on the lead burning silver under a slat of sun than the writing itself. 

So like this, it isn’t very long until Klug realizes classes are over and students are dismissed to have a good rest of their day. 

Klug was walking with no place in mind at first. Just knowing he needed to get away from home, for now at least. 

Then he sees Ayashii waiting for him somewhere in the crowd. Closing distance on him before Klug could decide if it wasn’t just him going crazy. Before he has the chance to turn back and pretend like he didn’t see him. 

Ayashii doesn’t know what to do with the cap since it fell off. It goes without saying Klug wanted his space but even after today he was doing everything he could to keep his distance from him. A few times would he brief him this look like something wants to give just so they can sit down and talk but holding it off every time with a new gesture or excuse like that was too good to hope for. 

And the thing is he had the time, granted it wasn’t much, but he still had the time to take Klug in one arm and get his answer out in words before he ran away, taking it the exact opposite way he intended. Aya had missed his chance then. It’s noon of the next day and the stress still weighing as heavily on him as it would being in the moment they separated. 

Aya had his plans to read earlier. To vacuum, shower, maybe stream the channels that most appealed to him if any. Instead he finds himself glued to that same couch hours later, doing no more than the bare minimum. But it feels like he spent all day frying his brain over that one kiss. 

Ayashii realizes at some point in his brooding that the human body can very much feel anxiety coming off it. Because regardless if it was already a habit or not he can’t stop fidgeting with the first thing in front of him and bouncing his leg. Though the T.V.’s buzzing with noise and Ayashii couldn’t be bothered to see what’s on.

He missed his chance. He’s still thinking about it. 

Again, he was ready to ease out of this state of mind for years. He thought he knew what he had coming. So for himself, for Klug, it would’ve been for the better if he never acts on his love for him. Let it die off. 

Seeing as it would’ve been a much kinder fate to forget eventually than reach for something they don’t have the chance of realizing. Now Ayashii has to worry about things like temperature and what to eat and when to sleep on a daily basis. Now he’s digging up old feelings again with the intent of facing them. The idea of which he always dreamed of and cried for for so long that now that he gets the opportunity to do so it terrifies him to the core knowing he just can. 

It’s 12:34, 12:37, 12:50, 1:23 p.m. The more he draws attention to them the more Ayashii is matching his eyes with the clock at these times. It was coincidental, almost funny, at first. But currently it can’t be driving him more out of his mind. 

What’s funnier is that’s what gets him out of the house, is seeing the time. Ayashii just got the idea that he can make this count with Klug, provided he gets his ass outside first, to pick up where they left off. 

Next he sees him Aya was pacing the front gates of the school. Klug looks like he wants to save himself the embarrassment of crying in public and tries to back off into the front doors until Aya pulls him out again. Settling behind the first corner they meet, and away from the bulk of the crowd. 

In the back of his mind, Ayashii humor the thought of ‘friends don’t hug or kiss nearly as much as we do, huh?’ But his tongue couldn’t be more tied even though he’s the one who sought him out first.

But before he gets to say anything, Klug is rubbing his eyes under his glasses and goes, “Sorry, I’m sorry, uh..” Picking up after himself in the small way he knows he can’t help himself doing before Klug actually breaks down in front of him. 

Ayashii doesn’t wait to give him his shoulder, pressing a little harder into the hug the closer he gets to crying himself. Neither saying what they felt for as long as the silence felt comfortable between them. They didn’t have to. 

A word falls flat when Aya eventually tries to get it out. 

“What..?” Klug said. 

He lifts his mouth away from his neck. 

“I just never got the chance to tell you, uh-“ Aya interrupts himself on a cry he couldn’t hold back, the rest of what he planned to say tipping over and voiced ahead of his will to say them in such a rush. And Klug hears it again. 

Yet he still feels obligated to deny it at face value. Klug still feels like he needs to hold onto the hope that Ayashii is just telling him this to make up for yesterday. To make him feel better. Or that he doesn’t mean it in the way he wants him to. But the stress in his voice is unmistakable and so raw that he has no choice but to believe him. 

“Thank you for letting me love you," he said.


	9. 2

Ayashii always had a feeling Klug was keeping something to himself since the day he got his own body. But usually he’s able to tell right away if it ever involves things like admitting to loss or personal sentiments. Even with him, Klug tends to keep these things behind closed doors. Less because he’s looking out for himself but just out of respect for Aya, so Klug doesn’t have to feel bad about Ayashii feeling bad after dumping his emotional baggage on him. 

And sure, this new secret, whatever it is, that Klug looks ready to do just about anything to keep under wraps, has been bugging him for the past month. When Aya understands that it doesn’t need to be. He can forget about it and if it mattered - if it was something he really needed to hear - would make itself heard soon enough. 

The only times he pushed for answers anyway was when Klug opts for a sudden change in topic or his voice cracks on a sensitive line. When it’s clear to the both of them that something just gave a nod to the secret that he can’t deny the opportunity to coax it out of him. But Ayashii realizes everytime that that’s not the way to go about it, not with how hard Klug is trying to keep it away from him. So he decides to stay away. And let Klug tell him in his own time.

But maybe it would’ve been better to keep acting on it then because after so many weeks Aya now has to see, and maybe as a result of his staying away, Klug’s mood pitch drastically in one direction. He got to his all-time low seemingly out of nowhere. Just started to come home with the smile wiped clean off his face. Coming home to practice spells quietly and stay in bed longer. Not chiding him for the little things out of worry, not complaining about the foods that smell better than they taste. Just detached for some reason, from any stress of emotion that wasn’t out of his instinctive control. 

When he asks, Ayashii wants to take his word for it when he says it’s just ‘school’ or ‘work’ but of course that can’t be it. Aya knows by now the difference between stress from today’s curriculum and stress from his own shitty monsters he has to deal with. He knew this had to be a problem that runs deeper than that. 

Which, props to his foresight on that one, because it was. He just doesn’t know what exactly it was. 

But Klug wakes him up not too late into the a.ms, as Ayashii had just probably passed the first real stage of sleep by then. Sniffing wetly and crying something he can’t register right away into his chest. At which point Aya was delegated the spot of right shoulder whether he was ready for it or not. 

And his glasses were an arm’s reach away but the hopeless state Klug gives into right in front of him steals his attention first and foremost. That arm moves to rub over Klug’s back instead. 

“What happened?” he urged. 

Ayashii hikes him closer up to his face because he can’t make anything out of the words he stifles into the cover. 

“Klug, come on, you’re scaring me. You had a nightmare or something?”

Klug’s answer is beside the question. Aya tries kissing into his jaw but he’s moving around too much with hiccups when he cries. 

“I shouldn’t have.. fucking- I shouldn’t have done this to you.. the spell doesn’t work h-“

“Hey, hey, hey” comes out with more strain than he’d like. 

“The spell worked, okay?” Aya tries to reassure him. 

“God, I’m so sorry,” he hissed. Nothing quite getting through to him yet or it’s just that he doesn’t want to trust him for some reason. And Ayashii still buys the idea that Klug had a nightmare that hit a little too deep because he doesn’t know what else to believe. 

“I’m so scared, Aya,” he says in a rush, like if Klug could put into words the way he met his eye still after denying to follow up on what he wanted so many times in the past month. 

“I’m fucking scared I’m going-I don’t want to lose you, I just don’t want to- God, I’m sorry I ever..”

Klug can’t help breaking up his sentences, rushing them into Aya’s neck, his shirt. He doesn’t look him in the eye until Aya guides him by the hand to do so. It’s when he has to stay like that that Klug starts to get horribly embarrassed and has trouble getting anything out to him at all. 

“What are you talking about? I’m right here,” he said. 

“You’re awake. You’re not dreaming anymore, Klug.”

Klug pushes into Aya’s hand, the most he feels he can do when his mouth refuses to work with him. So he leans into him. He whines - an apology, another seed of truth - lips the forearm and sinks into a hug to fill every space with his own body, cherished him like he could lose him the next day. And like he honestly believed he could just lose him to forces Aya doesn’t know what Klug thinks go to the extent of. 

Ayashii returns the gesture. Only as tensed up as Klug because he looks like he’s locking him behind his arms. Trying to help and ground him to reality in what ways he can without relying on much forethought. He was sure he knew what to say in the beginning but now Aya just lets the nerves do the talking. 

He never hears him all the way to the end. Klug still refuses to admit just exactly what it is that’s tearing him up inside. Nevermind as he’s stooped over Aya’s bedside already and begging him not to go anywhere he still can’t cross that line. 

Or, he can’t tell him. So he decides to show him instead.


	10. 1

—

Salariu Egal (translated - ‘equal pay’)

—

No more ritual-based than it is traditionally recital, seeing as the spell works with the help of both a magic circle and set of phrases.

Although it is easy to see it as such, Salariu isn’t technically necromantic considering the original body of the spirit isn’t the one being restored. Thus falling into another category.

This spell is a means to bring someone back from the dead even (n.b, and only in the case that) the original body is long gone. A physical replacement for the target isn’t being reanimated either, instead the new body’s shape is inherited from the spell caster’s memory of said spirit before they died. With or without the combined efforts of the spirit itself however this is optional. It is encouraged of the caster to remember their strongest and/or most recent memories of the spirit in physical form for accurate results.

Only, there comes a price with disrupting the cycle of life and death. Being that the spirit’s new body is just temporarily hosted by the caster’s own blood and magic supply. Willing the body through the caster’s eventual and total self-sacrifice.

How this works is for every day the spirit lives in its body the spell caster loses that amount of days themselves. Essentially, the spirit is borrowing the life of the given host to maintain life in their own body until the spell caster’s every drop of blood and breath has been wasted.

Depending on who hears this, the upside to Salariu is the stretch of time the host and spirit have to occupy the physical world together. The average mortal, for instance, has an average of ten years before the spell starts to take serious effect on their well-being. Consequently, the spirit whose body has been fueled by the chosen host will start to fail too and die not long after the spell caster themselves die.

So it is with these points in mind that both parties should consider their choices carefully. It is encouraged no one try this spell if they aren’t willing to put their life on the line without second thought for the other person. Because once the spell is actuated there is no going back and the conditions are set permanently.

Shown below are the steps required to achieve the effects of the spell...

Manipulation of.. At the center-most of the circle…

Recite the following in quick succession, at which point the spell caster should be…


	11. 0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> swear to god i will write more lighthearted stuff for ayaklug after this

If he had to guess, the feelings were mutual. 

That they’d be standing right up to the fire - they’re close enough to get burned - and knowing that want to go ahead and touch it anyway. The fact of which they hate themselves over to no end. 

Klug personally hates how long he let this grow on him. It takes him aback sometimes, realizing how long he let this love fester but it hurts to deny it outright and marginally less so if he just avoids confronting it for years. He almost never brings it up with him anymore (the chance of seeing him in person one day) and Ayashii still sees right through him. Seeing, at the time, what he lost in himself after enough times of the record getting passed around. The hopes of any real friends or loved ones subverted by the reality he had to face. Not because he deserved it or that he even knew it was coming. It’s just the way things are since he was first sealed. There can never be any good that comes with holding onto such a hope and it would’ve helped tremendously if Klug takes his word for it. So neither of them get disappointed when they get what they should have been expecting. 

And but they don’t get that, is the thing. Not right away at least. But Klug had decided from the get-go it was better to live and die in the next ten years with Ayashii actually by his side than never once bracing the prospect that it could actually happen. He tries to think about it like that. After all, It’s one of the many things that lead him on to doing the spell. 

But Klug finds he worries more about the day they’re going to die than enjoy what days they have left together so isn’t he just killing time at this point? Biting his nails, losing sleep, tearing apart his psyche over the day of reckoning. When he read it word-for-word before hand, in the page and swore he meant to comply with Salariu’s conditions. 

This whole time Klug wondered if it would hurt Ayashii more telling him or not telling him about what comes after the spell. And like with most anxieties, if not overwork himself half to death to fight them, he puts it in the back of his mind. He struggles to get it out there because why bother when they’re doing so well? 

And Klug planned to play into it until the very end. Only it doesn’t take long until the consequences really set in for him. As the fear and guilt and sorrow became too much to handle. The reins completely out of his hands. 

He doesn’t get it. He said he was ready, and with all his heart Klug thought he knew this. When the opportunity presented itself, he wanted to carry through with Salariu from start to finish. Trade out the number of days Klug has to live and - by all means he will - if it’s for you.

“I wanted so bad just to give you the chance you deserved. I love you too much not to die trying. I had to do something, Ayashii, you get it?”

Ayashii’s grip on his arm pushed him a little more upright. 

“-can’t stand to see you live with yourself like this. Getting handed down and used and abandoned. After me, you’re gonna have to go through that again, right? So I’m scared to let the record go. Because of that I know I can’t perpetuate the cycle anymore. Like I just think too hard about it and I realize, you’re just never gonna catch a break like this. So I have to stop it here. I want to give you what you want and I don’t care if it kills us both someday. But I can’t say that can I? I can’t say that in earnest because I’m scared out of my fucking mind to lose you on that day. But you give me the chance to recite the spell again and I still would do it again, no fucking doubt.”

At least then, he had a heart that could beat in the first place, there was an axis to pivot on, to maintain his balance with. Now every muscle, nerve, and shaking breath in Aya’s body has shut down and at the same threatening to push into overdrive. 

And yet he doesn’t put it past him. Klug binds them in a suicide pact just to get him here and at the moment, Ayashii doesn’t believe in his right to get angry at him all the way. He still just wants to say ‘thank you’ knowing full well that if he were in Klug’s shoes, Ayashii wouldn’t have done one thing differently. 

Which only serves to depress him more upon admitting the fact. 

But out of everything he guessed prior, this was just too much to take in right away. Ayashii can’t digest it as the whole truth in so long as the breath that leaves him when Klug is rushing to explain his view. 

Klug says, “I know it’s wrong to keep going like this. Like we’re just going to end up wasting more time than we have any right to waste on shit like this. So- ah- I don’t know. I don’t know, I just fucking want to be at peace with it already.”

Klug is saying this into his back in tight embrace, letting him beat his fists weakly against him and run out of breath sobbing as he holds him in place there. 

“I just want to be happy that we’re here right now,” he says. 

In a perfect world, Klug can give Aya the liberty to live again in his own body, but this is as close as they were going to get.


	12. a/n

I feel so burned out but I have to say this 

I didn’t think it was my thing starting off - multi-chapter/bigger projects like this, or just anything that’s not a one shot. But I had fun and when I get more ideas I want to do stuff like this again. 

Only thing: I made this way more depressing than it should be. Because I just realized after rereading, you can always argue ‘why not the magic go like, someone else — Klug - Ayashii’ so it doesn’t have to be insta kill after so many years to the host. And I even thought about making a bonus oneshot thing about that but that’s gonna be echoed in later one shots anyway (unless I explicitly say I’m working with this au) so mmm. But I guess if anyone wants to they can write it themselves. But yy that’s about it. 

Also, angst isn’t something I’m big into. Or i.e, don’t feel like I’m good at writing it. But again, after going through this I don’t think I did too bad (tho.. Still thinking if I do too many run-ons or if that’s just my style/not as bad as I think it is).

uuu right, so.. sleep well, drink enough ((water), and don't use your boyfriend summoner kit before reading the warning on the back. thanks


End file.
